Fun fact, I didn’t realise I was an introvert until I was in my thirties. What a revelation, right? I just thought I had an irrational fear of answering telephones. It’s a common misconception that if you are gregarious and bubbly that you couldn’t possibly be an introvert. But that isn’t the case. In reality, being an introvert simply means that you recharge your ‘inner battery’* by spending time alone. Whereas an extravert will get their energy and feel renewed from spending time with people. As I continue to learn more about myself, I am realising how being an introvert has shaped my style of travel. Here are some of the quirks of introvert travel that I have identified from my personal experiences.
** Thanks to @MattsRoadTrip for his term ‘inner battery’.
Note: Not all introverts are created equal. These are the quirks of introversion that I have discovered in myself, but there are a whole gamut of introvert travel traits! Feel free to add yours in the comments below!
The Quirks
Hostels – hell no!
One of my strongest introvert traits is the requirement for privacy and my own space. I stayed in a hostel in Paris when I was 19. I was meeting up with friends and had never stayed in a hostel before, but my dislike of them hit me like a ton of introvert bricks. Keep in mind, at this point in my life, I didn’t think I was an introvert, I thought I was just an oddball.
We had a shared dorm, which didn’t bother me; and half the people in the dorm were my friends. Yet, the sense of constant irritation and discomfort in my core haunted me that week. I just figured I was tired from travelling for weeks. Looking back I can recognise all the things that were causing my inner introvert to recoil – constant human contact, nowhere to escape to, and 8 humans in a confined space every night.
Hotels vs. B&Bs / Homestays
Following on from this absolute need for privacy and a quiet retreat – I have a love of big anonymous hotels. The bigger the hotel, the more incognito I can be. I don’t have to make small talk, I can just disappear into my room and know I won’t be disturbed (unless I ask to be).
Some of my favourite hotel experiences have been in hotels set up for business clients – where quiet, discretion, and privacy are held as priorities. My bliss is having a quick efficient check-in, and a big restaurant-like breakfast room (or room service). And those hotel staff who have the knack of knowing when you need them and when you need your space.
My Mom used to enjoy staying in B&Bs. Even now writing about this I get that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach when remembering these experiences. While none of our hosts were ever intrusive, for an introvert, merely having to make small talk can be stressful.
I remember arriving late one evening, and the B&B hosts offered us dinner. I sat at that dinner table feeling like there was something wrong with me for not being able to make that situation a comfortable one. On another occasion, years later, when in a B&B in York England, they served breakfast at a big communal dining table. I’ve never eaten my eggs and beans so quickly!
Travelling with Friends
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my friends. And one of my favourite things is to go away for weekends with these friends. But I’ll be honest, a weekend is all I can manage. Having to be constantly ‘on’ (otherwise known as functioning socially, even with friends), really takes it out of me. I find my energy levels are beyond depleted by the end of a weekend. The same goes for visitors to our house, I have a 2-3 day limit on guests, and am unapologetic about that.
Another side to my personality is that I am a natural leader, and gravitate towards leading when in groups. This makes me a great tour guide. But, when combined with my introvert travel tendencies, it means that being in groups poses something of a challenge for me. While it depletes my energy levels, I also enjoy the leading part and gain great satisfaction from showing people around (Paris especially). But I know, come 4pm, I need to go back to the hotel for a few hours to recharge ready for dinner and evening activities. This is a non-negotiable part of my day. I need it.
Travelling with a Partner
I have introvert friends with extrovert partners and it works! But they have to understand the recharging needs of each other. I am lucky, my husband is also an introvert. It means that our usual routine while travelling takes into account our introvert recharge requirements. It also means that we can be ‘alone’ together – our down time can be with each other rather than physically alone because we understand what each other needs.
I watch mindless TV, and Roy puts his headphones in and listens to music. Alone but together. And when 4pm hits and we have been out and about all day, we always go back to the hotel for those 2 hours of chill time. Without which I couldn’t go out and enjoy the evening.
The Fear of Group Travel
Many of my travel-loving friends enjoy group tours. But for me, the idea of group travel isn’t an option. First up, having someone else dictate my schedule scares me. I know group tours allow for down time within their schedules, but my introvert recharge needs might not fit that schedule. Secondly, travelling with a group of people, no matter how lovely they might be, means that I would have to make small talk. And small talk literally takes all my energy! Travel should be fun and invigorating, so group travel could well be the opposite of that for introverts.
Perhaps I should start an introverts only travel company – group tours where no one needs to talk to each other!
Being alone in public
Being ‘alone’ doesn’t necessarily mean being shut away in a hotel room. For an introvert it can mean a lot of amazing travel activities, but choosing those that perhaps minimise interaction. Some examples include being drawn to hiking or outdoor activities, choosing to dine alone, or finding a nice quiet corner of a pub and reading a book. Personally, I find that I enjoy walking around a very busy city. Despite being surrounded by humanity, people don’t talk to each other in big cities! It harks back to my previous point about anonymity – the bigger the place, the more anonymous I can feel.
One of my favourite ways to remain ‘alone’ when I’m in public is to put in my headphones – it reduces the chances of random small talk and I can escape in to my own world. My introvert friend sometimes wears headphones but doesn’t listen to music, purely for their anti-conversation qualities! Don’t get me wrong, I love talking to people, but I’d prefer it was on my terms.
Some Clarity
Introversion doesn’t mean that I am terrified by public situations, it doesn’t mean I have an anxiety disorder. It doesn’t mean I’m shy (I’m far from it). And it doesn’t mean I don’t like people. It just means that there are things I’d prefer not to do, that may take extra energy to do, or that I would prefer to do on my own terms. I love being with people, I love spending time with friends and I love performing music in front of crowds (my side hustle as a musician). But I don’t get my energy from doing those things, I get my energy from alone time.
I think it’s important to understand those subtleties, because it can make a difference to how one feels about themselves as either an introvert or extrovert. I used to feel like I was flawed somehow, but now it is just something I have to take into account in my lifestyle. Introversion is most definitely NOT a flaw!
The Quirks of Introvert Travel
Since discovering that I am an introvert, I feel like all the ways that I choose to travel make more sense. I used to give myself a hard time for needing my own hotel room, or for feeling ‘anti-social’ for needing my alone time. But understanding is liberating. If there is anything I would love this article to do, it is to allow more people to understand the quirks of introvert travel. If you are travelling with an introvert friend, I hope this has helped you understand them a little more.
Learn more about this Roaming Kiwi and how I ended up travelling the world!
Are you an introvert too? Share your stories in the comments below! And join me on Twitter, where we often chat about the quirks of introvert travel!
All photos & content © Hannah Henderson and may not be used without permission (sharing this blog post is fine, though!).
This is an amazing article. I completely relate to a lot of this, especially the hostel vs. hotel thing. I used to stay in hostels and looking back I can see how my introverted nature was what made it more difficult. It’s funny of the most fear inducing things on a vacation is a hotel with free breakfast. It means going into a busy (usually small room with less seats than people) and have to mingle. I often choose to skip it. I have traveled a lot on my own and people always ask if I get bored or lonely. The answer is no. I love walking around a city or new place by myself. Thank you for taking the time to write such an important piece, to show that you don’t have to be an outgoing extroverted person to enjoy travel.
You’re right to say that introverts are not necessarily shy people. We are both just a bit of introverts, which means that We don’t mind having dinner with small groups of friends, or have some small talks with coworkers from time to time, but Not necessarily Party with lots of people. when traveling, we prefer to be alone (as a couple) instead of joining a huge groups. In Peru, we did only two group tours of 2-3 days each. And that was fine: It’s nice to talk to Some fellow Travellers And share our Travel experiences, but we don’t like to travel with the same people over a long period such as a week or two.
I’m so glad you wrote this, Hannah! It speaks to my experience greatly, although I feel my battery may drain much more quickly than your’s!
I also think, maybe my recharge times have gotten longer! (Hey, thanks for the shout-out! I won’t claim credit for the term, but I can’t remember where/when I first heard it.)
I always knew I was introverted but, for the longest time, I only knew how to be successful in career by mimicking certain extrovert behavior, or at least what I perceived to be extroverted behavior. It took me until just a few years ago, in my mid-thirties, to realize I needed a different path. Not easy to leave behind a successful career and start a new one, but that’s what I did!
Nowadays, my photography career allows me to escape to solitude for weeks or even months at a time and I’ve found that allowing that length of recharge has made me infinitely more energized and creative.
In terms of travel, embracing the full-time RV lifestyle has allowed my introverted nature to flourish even more. I, quite literally, bring my private space with me wherever I go. I socialize at will with people I meet, yet don’t feel pressured to stay longer than I’m comfortable with. And, for me, there’s nothing better than being where nobody knows your name. Full time travel makes that very easy!
All in all, in the last few years, I have fully embraced my introversion and I believe my life is better for it!
This is a great post! I’m also an introvert and need to have my own space to recharge my batteries! I really don’t know how some people can be social butterfly’s, the stress would do me in 😂 I hate hostels but will stay in them from time to time if cost is an issue and I can’t find a decent cheap private room! Although I do tend to be the unsocialable one in my dorm room 😂 and I do choose carefully! Defo no party type hostels! Glad to know I’m not the only one who prefers their own company 👍
Thanks for sharing Hannah! A very personal topic but very insightful for others.
I love this article! I can really relate as an introvert. Funny enough, I am ok with hostels and B&Bs, but only if there is a curtain or something to allow me to block out the other people. I have stayed in some without, which was mildly horrifying. I love eating and going places alone, especially hiking. I love anything that gives an accurate description of introversion. We are so frequently misunderstood!
I just found out I am an introvert, too! I can relate to the quirks you discussed. I am also glad my traveling partner/husband is also an introvert!
I don’t mind hotels, but I often would like to travel by myself. However, I often would find it exciting to venture out and meet new people, and I often feel it is easier to meet new people when by myself than when with other people.
I really related to this article Hannah. Being an extrovert-presenting introvert, it can be hard to explain why I don’t do certain things, or need time away from other people, etc. I too love the anonymity of large cities and hotels, and I dread a free breakfast so much I’ve very rarely partaken of them (which is ok, as I’m not much of a breakfast-eater anyway!). I think the older you get, the more you grow to accept and understand yourself (hopefully) – and being confident in fulfilling your own introvert needs is part of that process. Yay for introverts and introvert travel!
Thanks so much for reading Clare! I think we should have a ironic hashtag #IntrovertsUnite for this 😉
I so know what you mean about at times projecting an outward appearance of being gregarious. With people I know, I am very outgoing. But put me in a room of strangers and I am hiding behind the plant! I am also not good with staying with people when I travel – no matter how close we are. I need my time when I can escape. We have done group tours but I always find ways to escape for that downtime I need. I agree that understanding your introvert needs makes it easier to accept. Great post Hannah!
I’m an introvert and completely agree hotel before B&B and hell no to hostels. I hadn’t thought about it but I am drawn to big cities… interesting!
Very entertaining read! I am an introvert too, so I can relate to so many of these things you talk about in your post. You made me smile when you said that some of your introvert friends are married to extrovert partners and it works. if it does work, It’s always for the extrovert! I’m married to an extrovert and I can tell you that it’s extremely stressful to live next to one. My husband loves to talk to strangers and is ready to befriend just about anybody he meets. Luckily, not everybody around us is an extrovert, so I can get a break once in a while, lol!
I definitely agree with needing my own space! And I can totally relate to traveling with friends and the exhaustion that comes from having to be ‘on” all the time! You’re so lucky to have a husband who not only understands your needs but also has the same needs and you can both give it to each other 😍💛 I love everything about this article, thank you so much for sharing Hannah!🙌🏼
Thank you so much for reading!
Good read on a different perspective to travel. Being introvert is little difficult for the person but extrovert friends are of big help.
That is quite an interesting article. I completely enjoyed reading it and thanks for writing it down. being introvert is actually not a disease, neither its shyness, it is just that one needs his or her own time to recharge himself.
Thanks for sharing your insights here… I really had no idea what it’s like to be an introvert, but now I can be a lot more understanding when I come across someone who is.
Have you heard of these tours made specifically for introverts? My friend is on one right now in Guatemala, sounds right up your alley!
Wow, I didn’t know about these tours! I’m glad they exist cos it’s so important!
I really appreciate this article and can totally relate – I’m incredibly introverted and so I have to make sure I factor that into my travels. Last year I led a student expedition to Kenya for a month and I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to get any alone time, but I made it a conscious part of my day and I managed it – just things like going for a walk on my own, sitting under the stars outside for a bit before going to bed, and scheduling in down time for students and staff each day. I don’t think I would have survived without that!
Wow, that is a huge undertaking – and I am super impressed you carved out that alone time within that. It is really a necessity rather than a desire, right? Thank you so much for reading!
I find traveling with other people absolutely draining, even worse than you, thus I seldom do.
I suspect you might be of the intj personality type.
Yep, I am!
INTP here and I absolutely relate.
A traveler who speaketh my Language!!! I nodded my head continuously reading your post, Hannah.
Thank you so much for reading!
I can relate to this post so much.thank you so much for sharing this. I have never tried hostels, I prefer staying at a hotel. And Also thanks for brining up travelling with partner. I have also been lucky in having a partner who understands, we recharge together. Loved this post.
Thank you so much for reading Usha! I’m so glad people are relating to this – it’s nice to not feel alone in these feelings!
Being alone together is such a sweet sentiment. Love your post.
This is a great read! Great tips for the introverts out there!
Thank you!
We always feel like rolling our eyes when we see all those quotes saying ‘travel is all about the people you meet and the friends you make’. that could be nice once in a while, but for us, the real magic is in communing with nature in solitude and visiting non-touristy (read uncrowded) places. really enjoyed your post.
Haha, yep, I totally understand that! Thanks so much for reading!
Very interesting!!
There’s nothing better than your own company, your favourite tunes playing in your ears and new ground to explore at your feet!! This perhaps explains why there are never any people in my photos!!
A great read Hannah – keep writing!!
Thanks for reading Emma! It is a fascinating world this introvert thing!
Great read! I, too, am an introvert and I can relate to so much of what you stated in your article, especially your point of staying in larger hotels where you can remain anonymous.
For my long distance trips, I have adapted to traveling with small groups (18-20 people) since I travel solo and although I may feel challenged at times making conversation, the benefit of hearing about other people’s adventures around the world is very rewarding to me.
When I need down time, I retreat within. Some people may consider me to be “standoffish”, but it’s just my introvert battery needing a recharge!
I love this John! It’s great that you have found a way of travelling with a group but still having ‘recharge time’! Thanks so much for reading.
Yes! Relating hard to this, hostels are my idea of a nightmare! But I have done a private room in a hostel so that’s my compromise sometimes (good for the budget too) I have noticed that B&B’s make me anxious – the one I stayed in in Split kept asking me if I wanted to join them for a coffee in the morning before I went out and I was like errr I’m good thanks! 😬 And yeah travelling with friends is a no-no! I totally get the anonymity thing as well I’ve often found it strange that I’m a huge nature lover and I love the quiet countryside but I also love the city atmosphere. It’s because you can just wander and be whoever who want to be. Great post I really enjoyed it! 😊
I’m so glad you related to this post! It’s one of those things that more people relate to that I realised when I wrote it 🙂
As a fellow introvert, I can totally relate to this!
After reading this I know that I am an introvert. All 3 of us are I think. Maybe that is why we travel and live together so well. We all understand each other.
Sounds like it! Introverts live well together (together alone!)… Roy and I are the same 🙂
I just want to thank you for this post. I am about to go to India and was considering booking a homestay instead of a hotel. Even the mere thought of a homestay makes me feel uncomfortable but that niggling thought of “push yourself outside of your comfort zone” crept in. Then I found your post. And I booked the hotel. I’m over 40 now, I don’t need to be sitting at a communal breakfast table forcing chit chat if I don’t want to. Thank you.
Oh I’m so glad it was able to help you find some clarity on things! Don’t make yourself uncomfortable unnecessarily 🥰 Enjoy India!